Dreams
by wolfraven80
Summary: Dreams filled Byleth's long sleep. And sometimes, between them, Sothis's voice echoing in the darkness, "You cannot sleep forever. She is waiting for you." [f!Byleth/Edelgard] [Black Eagles route spoilers]


**Dreams**

_You cannot sleep forever._

The words were distant in the void that surrounded Byleth. The void that had surrounded her since the walls of Garreg Mach had crumbled around her–atop her–taking all her dreams and all her thoughts with them.

_You cannot return to the past._

That distant voice. That familiar voice. Sothis's voice...

But the darkness lay heavy upon her like a woolen blanket and Byleth could not throw it off. She burrowed deeper into the darkness until there were only dreams and memories once more.

**ooo**

As she pushed through the doors and came out into the open air, Byleth spotted Edelgard near one of the battlements, staring out at the night sky. She could have slunk past her unnoticed–Byleth was so close to her quarters and the chance to finally reach her comfy bed–but she would not leave her without so much as a greeting.

"Good evening, Edelgard."

When she turned, there was a smile on Edelgard's lips. "Professor. We seem to be making a habit of this."

"I'm sure Linhardt would call it a bad habit." A yawn escaped her even as she finished her sentence.

"I'm sure he would," Edelgard said, tilting her head to regard Byleth. She stepped closer and fingered Byleth's rumpled collar. "Have you not been to bed yet?"

Byleth shook her head. "I was training with Petra. We finished late and then I ran into Professor Hanneman who had a slew of crest questions."

"Your quarters are almost next door to the training area," Edelgard said with raised eyebrows. "He happened to be passing by the training area just as you left?"

"I know," Byleth groaned. "It was an ambush. I should have been better prepared."

Crossing her arms, Edelgard put on her sternest expression as she might while lecturing Linhardt about napping during class. "I'm going to begin worrying that academy life is dulling your senses. And then where will we be for our next mission?"

"Doomed, I'm sure," Byleth said, with utmost seriousness. And then, sighing, "Professor Hanneman lost track of time and then I was about to turn in when I spotted Professor Manuela who... required assistance."

"She was a little unsteady, was she?" Edelgard said with an understanding nod.

"Yes." Manuela's penchant for overindulging was the worst-kept secret in Garreg Mach.

Edelgard smoothed out the folds of Byleth's jacket. "I won't keep you then."

"It's no trouble. If there's anything I can do..." Byleth couldn't tell her that she'd have stood there all night to talk to her. Couldn't tell her how the touch of her gloved fingers made her pulse race in a way she'd never felt before.

She shook her head. "Thank you, my teacher. But you need your sleep."

And with the memory of those words Byleth slipped back into the quiet darkness.

**ooo**

_You must gather your strength and rise._

Sothis's voice trickled through the immovable darkness. Her limbs were a dead, still weight, the darkness resting over all of her senses.

_The world is spinning on without you._

Spinning. Like the month before the disaster at Remire. The world had been spinning then too...

**ooo**

Of all Byleth's students, Edelgard was the most interested in tactics and it was not unusual for her to stay after class to discuss material in further detail. She wanted to know everything about formations, terrain, lures, feints... and how well mercenary tactics could scale to operations for larger armies.

"You know," Byleth observed on one such day when Edelgard had kept her at her desk long after the others had filed out of the classroom, "the questions you ask make it sound like you're in training to run a war."

Edelgard didn't bat an eyelash. "Peace is a fragile thing. Soon the responsibility for Adrestia will rest on my shoulders and I must be ready to defend it should it ever become necessary."

"Soon?" Byleth said, eyebrows raised.

"My father is not in the best of health." She spoke so matter-of-factly of it that it was clear to Byleth that this was neither a sudden nor unexpected turn of events. Even so...

"I'm sorry."

Edelgard only nodded. "I should be the one apologizing, Professor. I've kept you long enough. I'm sure you have other matters to attend to."

"I'm always pleased to talk with you, Edelgard, you know that."

A smile graced her lips. And perhaps the slightest hint of colour in her cheeks. "Thank you, my teacher."

Byleth moved to stand, but no sooner had she straightened her knees than the world lurched around her. Her hand shot out to steady herself on the back of her chair as the vertigo she'd felt on and off all month pounced once more.

Edelgard's grip on her arm was vice-like. "Professor, are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Byleth murmured. "Let's get some air."

Edelgard assented but did not let go of her arm, holding on to her as if she might topple over at any moment. Byleth would have called it an overreaction if she hadn't already keeled over once this month.

The sun set early in these cool, winter months and it was already dusk as they emerged from the Black Eagles classroom into the courtyard beyond. A chill breeze sent gooseflesh prickling up on her arms. Byleth drew in the cold air in greedy lungfuls and the swimmy feeling eased.

Edelgard was eyeing her with concern and had not relinquished her hold on Byleth's arm. "Perhaps you should go to the infirmary."

Byleth shook her head–and was relieved to notice that the gesture hadn't made the feeling any worse. "I've already been. Professor Manuela told me to get lots of rest and eat more meat."

"Even so, perhaps we should–"

What Edelgard was going to suggest, Byleth never found out. A shriek pierced the evening air. Inhuman. And drawing nearer.

Edelgard drew the sword at her hip. Byleth, still a bit weak in the knees, was a beat behind her this once. Another screech and the beating of wings. Byleth stared into the darkening sky until she could make out a lumbering shape flailing in the air above the monastery. "What in the world..."

And then the shape bore down on them. Byleth glimpsed a flash of white teeth and leathery wings before she and Edelgard both leaped back, swords at the ready. A gust of wind sent Byleth's coat flapping behind her–no, not wind, but the backlash of wyvern wings flapping furiously as it came in to land. Normally the creatures were graceful, but this one's flapping was erratic and frenzied and, as the creature's hindquarters touched the ground, the beast listed to one side. The wings flapped harder to steady it even as its neck arched and a piercing roar tore out of its throat.

"It's one of the school's mounts." Edelgard pointed to the wyvern's back where, indeed, Byleth could make out the shape of a saddle. But what would cause the mounts to act like this? Wyverns were ornery, it was true, but they were trained to be relatively docile outside of battle.

The wyvern steadied itself and its eyes narrowed as it regarded them. Its head darted forward, all teeth. Instinctively Byleth raised her blade to ward off the gnashing maw, but she used the flat of her blade to strike it across the snout. The wyvern reared back, roaring, but then quickly swung its massive head sideways, almost knocking over Edelgard. She leapt aside at the last moment.

Byleth stepped in to deliver another strike, hoping to stun the wyvern, but as she raised her sword, the ground seemed to rise with it. And the sky above tilted sideways. She wavered and, sword still clutched in her hand, toppled over.

She could hear Sothis screaming in her thoughts. _You fool! This is no time to be muzzy-headed. Get up!_

Byleth clawed her way back up onto hands and knees, but the world was circling her as if she were a spinning top. From one moment to the next, the wyvern seemed to be above then below, then to one side, and all she could see clearly were the snapping jaws coming towards her.

And then a blur of movement as someone–Edelgard–leaped between them. Her blade was raised, but the creature's momentum carried it forward, and even as Edelgard's blade dug into its hide, it didn't stop. The wyvern's jaws clamped down on Edelgard's shoulder. She screamed.

And Byleth reached into time and stopped it.

For a beat the world remained frozen in that distorted half-light of the Divine Pulse. And then Byleth turned back the seconds, her breath heaving, her head spinning, but determined to _fix this_. The wyvern's teeth withdrew, its head drew back away from Edelgard and away from her blade. Now that everything was still Byleth could see something jutting out of the wyvern's left limb, just above the heel, a line of blood dimly visible in the twilight.

Panting, Byleth held the taut strands of time itself, felt them vibrating through her being, and then let go.

Byleth summoned all her remaining energy and leaped forward, tackling Edelgard and rolling away just as the wyvern's jaws bore down. This time its jaws snapped closed on empty air. Edelgard was safe in her arms, though she didn't have time to enjoy it. They scrambled back to their feet and ducked behind one of the columns supporting the academy's porticoed walkway.

"There's something embedded in the wyvern left hind leg," Byleth said. "Try to circle around and extract it while I distract the creature."

"Professor, are you sure you're well enough to–" The wyvern shrieked again and its jaws came snapping perilously close to their cover.

"I am. Go!"

Edelgard gave a curt nod and they broke apart, Edelgard springing left and Byleth, right. Byleth stripped off her coat and flapped it around, drawing the wyvern's attention. The creature lunged and Byleth ducked behind the column once more. And then, when the wyvern approached, she struck it with the flat of her blade. It snarled and drew back, but she knew if this went on any longer they would be forced to harm it even if it was one of the school's mounts.

The world lurched around her again. Byleth sucked in a lungful of air and pressed her back against the column. She had to keep the creature distracted to give Edelgard the time she needed. She wasn't about to let some overbearing lizard harm her. She had to protect Edelgard.

She waved her coat again from the other side of the pillar. This time the wyvern snatched the coat in its teeth and yanked it away. Byleth stumbled but kept her feet, leaning against the column for support. The wyvern eyed her. She slashed the air in a wide arc to drive the wyvern back. It snarled at her and snapped it jaws.

And then suddenly it craned its neck upwards and let out a high pitch shriek. Byleth braced for an attack.

But none came. Instead the wyvern remained still, panting, its sides heaving as it drew in huge gulps of air. Byleth dared to let her gaze slide sideways to see Edelgard standing by the wyvern's flank, a long, thin object held in one hand.

"Is everyone all right?" A cluster of knights was racing across the lawn towards them. Help had finally arrived, it seemed. How... helpful.

Edelgard had come to stand next to Byleth, her gaze sweeping across her. Byleth gave a reassuring nod, though she kept her weight firmly planted against the column. Edelgard held out the object she'd pulled from the wyvern's leg. A thick hunk of splintered wood, but there was something cut into it surface. "What are those sigils?"

"Dark magic," I suspect, Edelgard said, her brow furrowed.

"This could be work of the same group who kidnaped Flayn then."

Edelgard's lips thinned. "Perhaps."

"Lady Rhea may have a better idea once she's taken a look at it herself."

A pair of knights had looped ropes around the wyvern as a makeshift bridle. The beast seemed to have calmed now and placidly allowed the knights to do as they pleased.

_That was most unpleasant._ Sothis's displeasure rang through Byleth's thoughts and Byleth had to agree with the sentiment. Her knees felt watery, like she'd climbed the stairs of tallest tower in Garreg Mach at a run.

"You look pale, Professor," Edelgard noted and the concern was obvious in her voice.

"I'm a mite tired, I admit."

"I take that to mean you're exhausted and still unwell." Byleth couldn't disagree. "I'll take care of this," Edelgard said when one of the knights approached. She gave the knight a succinct recounting of events and handed her the splinter with instructions to deliver it to Lady Rhea. And then, once they were alone again, Edelgard took Byleth's arm and draped it over her shoulders, supporting her weight. "I'm escorting your back to your quarters."

"That isn't–"

Edelgard shot her a fearsome look. "I won't have you collapsing on your way there."

Too tired to protest further, Byleth let Edelgard lead her away. "Please don't mention this to the rest of the class. I don't want to worry them. I'll be fine before the mission."

"You can trust in my discretion," Edelgard replied with a nod. "But I intend to follow up on your state of health before we head out on any other field activities."

Byleth sighed. "Fair, I suppose."

Edelgard bore her weight like it was nothing, her slight frame belying the strength granted to her by the Crest of Flames. Much to Byleth's relief, they managed to make it the short distance around the back of the academy to the dormitories without running into anyone. She didn't need anyone asking bothersome questions about her dizzy spells. And though Byleth had expected to part ways at her door, Edelgard made no move to release her hold. And, as if reading her thoughts, "I have no intention of leaving until I'm certain you're resting as you should be."

Byleth sighed and unlocked the door to her room. Edelgard walked her to the edge of her bed and only then did she let Byleth go. Byleth sank onto the bed, groaning as she realized that she needed to remove her scabbard. She fumbled with her sword belt, feeling her face flush at having her uncharacteristic clumsiness witnessed. Once she managed to unbuckle it she tossed it aside and flopped down on the bed, boots and all.

The weariness in her bones ran so deep that she felt certain she was never going to be able to stand ever again.

She craned her neck to look at Edelgard when she noticed her reaching for something. The spare blanket at the end of the bed. Edelgard carefully unfolded it and spread it out over Byleth. "Thank you," Byleth said with an abashed smile.

She sat down on the edge of the bed. "Think nothing of it, my teacher. I only hope you'll be well soon. This seems... so unlike you."

"I agree. I'm stubbornly healthy most of the time. This is a new–and not altogether welcome–experience."

Edelgard's lips twitched. "I'm glad to hear that. I don't wish you to make a habit of it." She brushed a strand of hair away from Byleth's face. Her fingers were warm against Byleth's skin. As she stared up into those violet eyes a tingly sort of warmth filled her chest and she felt overwhelmingly grateful that she was here, that if someone had to witness such a humiliating moment of weakness, at least it was Edelgard.

"I'll try not to. But thank you. For your help."

"I'm glad I was able to assist you, my teacher. So often these past months you've helped shoulder my burdens. I'm honoured to have been able to offer my own shoulder for once."

The warmth in Byleth's chest blossomed into a swirling heady feeling, one much more pleasant than the vertigo had been. Before coming to the monastery nothing had unsettled her much, neither hardship, nor battle, nor wounds. Nor had much excited her or filled her with joy. It had been as if the world had been covered in a dull patina. But the day she'd met Edelgard and Sothis had woken within her, everything had changed, the patina scrubbed away and replaced with a surprising vibrancy. She felt things as she never had before. Like this giddy feeling that prickled through her as she looked up into Edelgard's eyes.

_She does seem rather fond of you. And you seem more than a little taken yourself._

Byleth stifled a groan as Sothis's observation filled her thoughts. It wasn't helping matters and she let Sothis know.

_It seems I will never truly understand the human heart. If you are so fond of each other why not come out and say so?_

_I am a professor and she is a student_, Byleth thought in Sothis' direction as forcefully as she could.

_Not for much longer_, was Sothis's curt response.

Edelgard's cheeks had taken on a pinkish hue as Byleth's eyes remained on her. "You should rest now, Professor."

Byleth's eyes closed and the warm and heavy darkness claimed her once more.

**ooo**

_I cannot carry you. You must rise and bear your own weight and that of this world._

Someone had carried her once before though. Her sluggish thoughts wandered to another time, after her battle with Solon, when she held felt this way, warm and weighted down and...

**ooo**

Her eyelids felt heavy, too heavy to open, and her limbs too leaden to move. Yet warmth filled her body as well as the thrum of a pulse that was not her own. She was not shifting her legs yet the world was moving around her, moving without her.

It took all her energy, but for a moment her eyes flickered open. A curtain of long white hair swayed close around her face. Her head lolled against a slim shoulder and bumped against a warm cheek. Strong arms supported her legs. She was slung over someone's back. Being carried. By...

Byleth tried to move her lips to speak Edelgard's name but what came out was no more than a groan. She wished to thank her for caring for her once more, for being there to bear her weight when she no longer could. But her lips would not move.

"Professor?"

Byleth tried to keep her eyes open, but they were so heavy. How could Edelgard bear her weight when Byleth's body seemed filled with stones...

"Professor, you need to wake–"

Like stones sinking down, down into dark waters.

**ooo**

_You cannot rest in memories and dreams for all your days._ _You must rise and walk the path you have chosen._

But she was still so sleepy. And yet... She had had dreams when she'd been awake, dreams of a future she had chosen for herself and one whom she'd wished to share that future with...

**ooo**

The cramped, low-ceilinged room Edelgard was using as a makeshift office at their temporary headquarters was strewn with maps and reports. They'd spent the weeks after fleeing the monastery studying them late into the night. All to reach this moment when the Adrestian army would march on Garreg Mach.

Edelgard looked up from one of the maps as Byleth entered and shut the door behind her. "Is it time?"

Byleth shook her head. "Almost but we have a little while still." Edelgard merely nodded and turned her attention back to the map, but it was impossible to miss the stiffness of her pose, the tightness of her jaw. "I've been making the rounds," Byleth said, keeping her tone casual, as if this were any day and not the brink of a battle, the beginning of war.

"How is everyone?"

"As well as can be expected given that we'll be fighting our former comrades."

Edelgard's eyes slid shut for a moment. She gave a slow nod. "I've always known it would come to this, but I'm sure it came as a shock to everyone else. Thank you for taking care of them. As you always do."

Byleth's lips curved into a faint smile. "I'm not quite finished my rounds. I have one more stop."

"I won't keep you then," Edelgard said, weariness plain in her voice as she looked back down at the map.

"I need to check on my best student."

"Go ahead, Professor," she said absently, tracing her finger along the map with a furrowed brow.

"Edelgard."

The emperor glanced up and only then seemed to notice Byleth peering at her with raised eyebrows. "Oh. You mean me." Edelgard shook her head. "There's no need to worry. I'm fine. I've prepared for this. I have no regrets."

Byleth tilted her head and rubbed her chin. "None at all?"

"None," she assured, drawing herself up. And then, concern flashing over her features, "You, Professor–is there something you regret?"

Byleth nodded slowly, a serious expression on her face. "There is one burning regret." She paused for effect and then spoke, her tone grave. "I deeply regret... that we never got a dance the night of the ball."

Edelgard slumped visibly. "Joking? At a time like this?"

A tiny smile curved Byleth's lips. "Only half joking. I am sorry we didn't when it seems like I danced with half the student body."

And that indeed did draw a smile out of Edelgard. "More like a third. You hardly had a moment to yourself that night."

"True. But I'd have made time if you'd asked me." And then, in a whisper, "Why didn't you?"

"I–" Edelgard looked away, obviously flustered. Her fingers absently traced over the map she'd been inspecting earlier, as if it could offer her a pathway through this conversation. "I suppose I was afraid I would give something away."

Byleth raised an eyebrow. "You thought I would peer into your soul and see all your secrets?"

"Sometimes it feels like you do."

"Dorothea said something to that effect once," Byleth replied, lips quirked.

"For good reason. It seems like I'm always telling you things I didn't intend to reveal." Edelgard shook her head. "As I recall, Dorothea had a dance with you–soul-searing gaze or no. I must admit, I was a little envious."

"We can remedy that." And Byleth stepped closer and took Edelgard's hand. "May I have this dance?" she asked with a little bow.

Edelgard appeared skeptical "Another joke?"

"I'm quite serious." Byleth raised the hand clasped in hers into position for a waltz and stared into Edelgard's violet eyes.

"I... accept." She placed her hand on Byleth's shoulder. Byleth in turn placed her other hand on Edelgard's waist and then she twirled them around, moving them in a tight circle in the cramped space. They stepped and spun and stepped without music, with only the scraping of their boots on the stone floor to fill the silence between them. Byleth hardly noticed, caught by the intensity of Edelgard's gaze.

Byleth felt as if in Edelgard's eyes she was seeing her own soul for the first time. Where once it had seem like a dark and echoing chamber, now it was full of dreams and hopes, and fizzy joy even here, on the brink of war. Whatever the Church had done to her, the academy had made her human for the first time and her human heart, still though it might be, wanted nothing more than to remain by Edelgard's side, no matter the cost.

Byleth's hand slid from Edelgard's waist to the small of her back, pulling her closer. Edelgard's hands drifted from their waltz pose and wrapped themselves around Byleth so that they were no longer dancing but only standing there in an embrace. Edelgard rested her head in the crook of Byleth's neck. And though Byleth's heart could only stand still, her pulse leaped.

When Edelgard raised her head, her lips trailed along Byleth's cheek, leaving behind a trail of flame. And it was a simple thing to tilt her head and let her lips brush over Edelgard's, just for a moment.

Edelgard's cheeks were flushed as she held Byleth's gaze once more and Byleth felt like she was floating in a haze of prickly warmth. Her unbeating heart was full of all the things she still wanted to say.

A knock at the door shattered the dream-like quality of the moment. "Lady Edelgard, it's time."

"Just a moment, Hubert," she called out. She closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath, straightening her spine, her shoulders, tightening her jaw. And she was the emperor once more. Yet her eyes were soft when she turned to look up at Byleth. "Come now. It's time to fight for our dreams of a better Fódlan. With you by my side, I know we _will_ win."

**ooo**

_You cannot sleep forever. She is waiting for you._

Byleth could feel the heaviness in her limbs retreating, replaced with a prickling as of pins and needles. Sothis's voice was closer now. Louder.

_You... How long do you intend to sleep? Your body is awake. Your eyes must open now, and you must find the strength to stand upon those legs of yours..._

The cozy warmth of past days slipped away. The darkness began to ebb. If she could no longer dream of the past then she supposed she must wake and turn to her dreams for the future.

**The End**


End file.
